Shortcomings

by That Dream Was Our Life

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Written between chapters of Rebecca Solnit, episodes of The OA & games of 8 Ball Pool (which I am amazing at btw)

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released February 17, 2017

Written in a Field Notes memo book & Google Keep
Recorded to iPhone
Photo: Roan Highlands TN 11/2015

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That Dream Was Our Life Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

I am a wallaby

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Track Name: Detonator
A smile you never show
Don't give anyone a clue
No one else should know how much anything can mean to you

Sometimes you get so weak
There are nights where you can't tell
If you can even speak to the flames inside your hell

The beauty of a timer
Is you don't have to pull a trigger
Baby I'm a detonator of explosions in the winter

The secrets that you keep
The voices you can't name
The morning brings you sleep & I'll never be the same
Track Name: Anyong & On
I'd wait for you but I think you're over it
Nothing I could do would be enough
I'd look for you but I can't handle it
The ghost of you just hurts my heart too much

Five reasons that your parents said
That I was a man of little consequence
Four thousand miles from my house to yours
Three weeks spent sleeping on your floor
Two years following a dream that ends
With a few cold lines of chat messages
I don't care if you keep the ring
But I don't want you to send it back to me

Why do I care, why do I give a shit
I was never gonna save you from your fear
I'd take you back if you could swim a bit
I'm not gonna drown in someone else's tears

Five reasons that your parents said
That I was only gonna be your friend
Four thousand miles flying to your door
Three weeks spent lying on your floor
Two nights in the mountains of Tennessee
Dreaming you were coming home to me
I don't care if you keep the ring
But I don't want you to forget me
Track Name: Night Of The Woeful Countenance
The party's almost over but I don't feel like going home
Your last Christmas in the city, we don't have to be alone
The apartment's gotten colder without a heart to keep it warm
The radiator's frozen

Hell if I'll ever know
What you're doing now or where you go
If I never see you again
Will I ever be forgiven

Do you want to take a ride? We can talk until we're sleepy
We can drive to your parents' house thirty miles out in the country
In the glow of the stereo, your face is so pretty
The song was "Two Of Us On The Run"

Hell if I'll ever know
Who you're talking to or where you go
If I never see you again
Will I ever be forgiven

I'm still holding your fingers
The scent of dried sweat & faint liquor
I would have kept some of those promises
If I could only remember
You were Sancho Panza
Tilting at windmills you would never see
I was Jason Bourne in the sequel
Burning pictures of Marie
Track Name: A Hand To Hold In The Dark
How long have you been missing
Can you make it through one more winter
Diminished by the frost & cold
How much sunlight do your branches hold

You're always headed home too soon
If you could only form a new cocoon
To be molded from a different cast
With no recollection of the past

Hope's not a wish that you hide in your heart
It's pulling fire from a dying spark
It's a hand to hold yours through the dark

Do you ever feel like breaking out
Prison bars made from guilt & doubt
Can you grow yourself a different skin
That's as honest as you've ever been

You can call me when you just can't win
You can tell a different story than
The story that's been told to you
We can help each other see this through