I Am Almost Another Person When My Eyes Are Open

by That Dream Was Our Life

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Written between chapters of Erik Weihenmayer, episodes of Missing Richard Simmons & salads from Uncle Oogie's

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released March 16, 2017

Written in a notebook & Google Keep
Recorded to iPhone
Photo: Shady Canyon, CA 10/22/2016

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That Dream Was Our Life Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

I am a wallaby

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Track Name: yr the chill that never leaves my bones
yr the chill that never leaves my bones
yr the wind that catches in my throat
yr the guilt that never keeps me warm
yr the thrill that blinds me like the snow

yr the wish that melts against my skin
yr the kiss i'll never know again
yr the starving bird diving for a bell
yr the magic word that breaks the only spell

tell me i'm the one who got away

i'm the consequence you'll never have to face
i'm the decision that's always made in haste
i'm the soul you'll never have to save
i'm the love you've already replaced
yr the chance i'll never have to take
yr the future i'll never have to make
yr the lesson i never have to learn
yr the ring that never gets returned

tell me i'm the one who got away
Track Name: The Future Knows Its Path
I should have known when I left the key that I was never coming back
I joked "Am I ever gonna see you again" & I didn't hear you laugh
A fog wall that hangs over the valley, the desert dust is filled with sage
The gravel & the scree of my hopes & dreams crushed beneath my age

We can't change the past
What's lost is never truly found
The future knows its path
We can only wait, for now

When you sang my name it was sweeter than whatever could be wrong
When I held your hand in mine I almost felt like I belonged
Is all the love I know, I'll know, I've known a mirage that disappears
Does it evaporate like the words that I left written on your mirror

We can't change the past
What's lost is never truly found
The future knows its path
What's gonna happen to me now

You & your new lover on a cliffside looking over
The sunset on the beach, the blue Pacific Ocean
While you were drinking fancy drinks & chewing on the flowers
I was lost & drowning as someone else's problem
How can I say that it's not you when I don't know you anymore
If I ever knew I should have known when I locked the door
Track Name: The Universe Breathes Out
You can let me down again
I swear that I won't mind
I know you'll come around again
I'm not leaving you behind
Are skeletons & creeping death
The only things that speak to you
You act like you've got nothing left
You wear your loss like it's your proof

You said:
"Say the first thing that's in your head
Sometimes you have to meet fate
Even if you know how it ends"

The emptiness of what you need
Makes the world a place to mourn
To find somewhere to live between
The lives we have, the lives we don't
The bridges that were burned for you
Can be rebuilt & raised
Strength will be returned to you
But sometimes you have to wait

You said:
"Say the first thing that's in your head
Sometimes you have to meet fate
Even if you know how it ends"

If I leave now
Maybe can stay friends
The universe breathes out
We'll see each other again

I get so angry when I think of you
I still punch the steering wheel
I just want to hear you laugh again
I wish I'd said "don't leave"
Dreams that are impossible
Fill the cracks inside our hearts
The pain we make unbearable
Makes us who we are
Track Name: Why Extraordinary Claims Demand Extraordinary Proof
When you're desperate you can draw lines between anything & anyone
Different signs pull you in a different direction
North, west, south, east
What road will lead you to freedom

What does it take to loosen your chains
You're an arrow's flight & a heartbeat away

Your beautiful hands cupped over your face
Timeless eyes peeking through the space between your fingers
You like to pretend that you're invisible but it only puts you out of reach
You're not the only one who feels that way

What does it take to loosen your chains
You're an arrow's flight & a heartbeat away

We're not who we were a year ago, five years ago or even fifteen years ago
And I don't want to grow more bitter as I grow older
You could always kill me but you still thrill me
I'd give you everything if you would only stay

What does it take to loosen your chains
You're an arrow's flight & a heartbeat away
What does it take to make you feel safe
You're a thousand years & a million miles away