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1.
I'm good at reading maps but never trust the direction I'm in Am I close to letting go or will I hold on to everything you said The grief of the living's always missing the grief of the dead Keep what's bitter from the sorrow we don't have to be anything else Take you where you want to go I can never be free If heaven is a hell below Then I never want to leave A heart off its leash can no longer find beauty in trust It doesn't know it's been caught till the trap's already been sprung If you wear your beauty like a bruise, maybe it will never cause you pain We wake up in different cities & if we get lucky it fades Take you where you want to go I can never be free If heaven is a hell below Then I never want to leave Maybe it's something you had now you don't Promise yourself that you will but you won't Do you love in spite of fear, is it simple enough Dreams don't cost a dime but they’re worth just as much A secret only we could know We will never be free If heaven is a hell below Then we're somewhere in between Take you where you want to go But I can never be free If heaven is a hell below Then I never want to leave
2.
Wish on artificial stars Over California cities Dance around a shallow heart Full of vanity & pity Congratulations taste like dust For the rival who succeeds Say you're happy through your teeth Does it make you want to scream Goodness might as well be blind When you paint a pretty picture Forgiveness doesn't mind When a promise leads to failure Evil only smiles When you surrender what you love When he's laughing in your face Do you ever cry for us I'll be as honest & true as I can Who could be as in love with you as I am I try to put this fire dead out again & again & again We're just tiny sparks In blue nights & barbed wire Feel our way around the dark For something that's familiar Only when we lose ourselves Is when we find we're free We're here & gone forever So take me in my sleep Take me in my sleep
3.
Someone to stop the nightmares that you're dreaming Your eyes have lost a love that can't be caught Another shoe to drop, always more terror But maybe there's more magic than you thought Sometimes it stares you in the face but you can't see it If you only want something don't tell yourself you need it If it doesn't bring you joy then maybe you should leave it If you make a promise to yourself make sure you keep it It's always better to be inside a mystery Maybe we will always live inside a question Don't ask when you already know the answer The last thing that you need right now's a lesson Sometimes it stares you in the face but you can't see it If you only want something don't tell yourself you need it If it doesn't bring you joy then maybe you should leave it If you make a promise to yourself make sure you keep it Is it always about possession Like there was something we could keep Why are we always trying to bring things back to life I don't know too much about that Or much about anything But you're the last one that I think of every night Sometimes it stares you in the face but you can't see it If you only want something don't tell yourself you need it If it doesn't bring you joy then maybe you should leave it If you make a promise to yourself make sure you keep it
4.
Why bet against fear every time It's a loaded pair of dice A mile of bad luck, aren't you tired Of running for your life Leave the tide, count the lights Until every one is you Spin the screen, lose the sun Until I'm howling at the moon Pinned in place like butterfly wings Where the ending meets the where it begins No cruelty left to inflict or forgive No dreams or curses, fate or signs Can stop the summer's fade We all wish we that could be honest with ourselves But beauty dulls the blade

about

Believe it or not, I'm always trying to make brighter music & DEAD OUT is the latest attempt to get out of my own way and actually communicate something relatable by writing about things that really happen, regardless of how good or bad it turns out. For some reason this summer I've been reading novels about the South & there's a tradition of melancholy & trying to find a way to live that's present & it's one that I'm really drawn to. It’s that "whatever it takes to get you through the night" sort of thing, you know? It’s a cliché but it’s one that's honest & generous xx

Written in between pages of Amy Franklin-Willis & Rebecca Solnit, episodes of Never Have I Ever S2 & watching Olympic Handball, & not-quite-weekly games of The Division 2 w/ Randy (I'm in the top 27% of skill kills in the world).

This is the *third* EP in my 2021 series. Check out the Subscribe link above for more info!

Bandcamp sales from now until 9/30 are going to the South Philadelphia Community Fridge, a community-centered, volunteer-based organization dedicated to giving all Philadelphians access to fresh and healthy food, combating food insecurity and inequality through mutual aid. Find out more at www.southphillyfridge.com & donate directly to @southphlcommunityfridge via Venmo.

credits

released August 6, 2021

Written in Notebook #4 & Google Keep
Recorded to iPhone & edited in Audacity
Photo: Cannon Beach OR 6/25/2021

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That Dream Was Our Life Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Introspective & prolific, James Cuartero AKA That Dream Was Our Life has been making music as a solo artist since 2014. Described as "a thinking man’s songwriter who stays away from the trap of being defined by a single genre", Cuartero has released fifty EPs, six compilations, & numerous singles over the past ten years. No t-shirts though. ... more

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