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Written between chapters of Janna Levin, episodes of S-Town, and D&D sessions where I play a half-elf bard


released April 21, 2017

Written in Notebook #3 & Google Keep
Recorded to iPhone
Photo: Hawksbill Mountain, VA 4/15/2017



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Track Name: Like A Prayer
Stumbling out of the CVS
You were still coming down from the X
I grabbed myself a gummy bear
& you lit up a cigarette
I joked you were drunk as a skunk
Pointed at the silver streak in your hair
You took a drag as deep as regret
& you laughed like you didn't care

We walked through the rain
I remembered the time
That you shotgunned me with a kiss
& you got me high
I left you to follow fool's gold
Like the fool I'll always be
If it's any consolation your life would be much smaller
If you had stayed with me

If I could light all my hopes like a flare
& watch them spark & explode through the air
Would they fill the sky or go unheard like a prayer

I never told you but I saw you on your birthday
At the karaoke bar where we met
I was walking home from Material Girls
Feeling hollow & depressed
Nostalgia & the smoke from the bar stung my eyes
You were circled by your friends
I only saw the back of your head
I pretended I got a phone call & left
Track Name: Bookstore Cats
I'm at the wheel & I'm falling asleep
Candlelit eyes are haunting my dreams
Gray like a smoke, the joke's always on me

Bookstore cats & used poetry
Galway Kinnel of the late century
When you've been alone, you turn into the snake
Deceit splits your tongue & dissolves into hate

Despair so immense it takes on its own life
The way that a star is survived by its light
The way that a heart can beat after it's burst
& fills the sky with the breath of the world
Track Name: "i miss you irl"
An unlocked heart & cemetery gate
Sinking in the dirt over Walda Crossley's grave
Does the spirit rise from the body right away

A trail of chicken bones & broken CRTs
Lies I tell myself but all I want is to believe
An ache for all the lives that I no longer dare to dream

You said "Baby
I need you
I miss you in real life
Can't make it without you"

Everyone I love has left this ugly town
Blew a kiss towards your door & heard an unfamiliar sound
Cleaning up my shame like it's a dog I drag around

If you could sing the notes of my name one more time
If I could feel your heartbeat race like a bird approaching flight
I'd relive every moment in a year of sleepless nights

I need you
I miss you in real life
Can't make it without you"

Drake said in 6pm In New York
There are nights
I wish I could go back in life
Not to change shit, just to feel a couple things twice

The way your tiny fingers used to lock in mine
Melting snowflakes in your hair at 2AM that start to shine
Does anything that dies ever come back to life

Does it ever come back to life
Track Name: Salty Pimp
I'll be the boat that follows in yr wake
I'll give you all my strength until yr heart is safe
Distrust & memories reanimate
A cursed hand that reaches through the grave

Voices that you can't keep out
Men that never shut their mouths
Is he gonna tell you all about
How not all men deserve your doubt

Black holes as small as cities, heavy as the stars
When they collide it could be heard by an astronaut
Will you be the waves I follow in the dark
I might never find out where you are
But I'll always keep you in my heart