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Live To See

by That Dream Was Our Life

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    Comes in a card/envelope with wraparound art & a 12 page booklet of liner notes that was a total pain to make.

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    Get all 62 That Dream Was Our Life releases available on Bandcamp and save 25%.

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of FOUND IN TIME, It Doesn't Matter Who You Are, SPEND IT ALL, AGE IN, Gone (Synesthete Remix), Magic For Other People, Miracle On Queen St, LIMINAL, and 54 more. , and , .

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1.
I wrote it to remember Something terrible & true A prayer beneath your breath Teardrops in the pew A diver in the rapture The air is running out I watched it like a fool Without a hope or doubt It's the way you keep me guessing I can never see the future But I can make it easy if I never try to reach you Leave me something to remember Something beautiful & real There nothing time can do for a wound that never heals A moth mistakes a streetlight For the crescent of the moon If the glimmer burns forever Will I burn forever too It's the way you keep me guessing I can never see the future But I can make it easy if I never try to reach you Does it always have to die Do we always have to let go Do you see it in your mind or is it just an echo I can't go back to nothing Touch the hand inside the casket You make me want to find if there could be an answer It's the way you keep me guessing I can never see the future But I can make it easy if I never try to reach you
2.
I'm good at reading maps but never trust the direction I'm in Am I close to letting go or will I hold on to everything you said The grief of the living's always missing the grief of the dead Keep what's bitter from the sorrow we don't have to be anything else Take you where you want to go I can never be free If heaven is a hell below Then I never want to leave A heart off its leash can no longer find beauty in trust It doesn't know it's been caught till the trap's already been sprung If you wear your beauty like a bruise, maybe it will never cause you pain We wake up in different cities & if we get lucky it fades Take you where you want to go I can never be free If heaven is a hell below Then I never want to leave Maybe it's something you had now you don't Promise yourself that you will but you won't Do you love in spite of fear, is it simple enough Dreams don't cost a dime but they’re worth just as much A secret only we could know We will never be free If heaven is a hell below Then we're somewhere in between Take you where you want to go But I can never be free If heaven is a hell below Then I never want to leave
3.
Wish on artificial stars Over California cities Dance around a shallow heart full of vanity & pity Congratulations taste like dust For the rival who succeeds Say you're happy through your teeth Does it make you want to scream Goodness might as well be blind When you paint a pretty picture Forgiveness doesn't mind When a promise leads to failure Evil only smiles when you surrender what you love When he's laughing in your face Do you ever cry for us I'll be as honest & true as I can Who could be as in love with you as I am I try to put this fire dead out again & again & again We're just tiny sparks In blue nights & barbed wire Feel our way around the dark For something that's familiar Only when we lose ourselves Is when we find we're free We're here & gone forever So take me in my sleep Take me in my sleep
4.
Love thrashes in the net Until it's suffocated Best to let the magic go Until it's drained and desiccated Hold a hand over a flame Like a joke that lost its humor As if time could break the spell I'm laughing at the future Failure loops like a movie Shadowless in carbon arc The projectionist slumped over Knows all the cues by heart Cut every fume of fancy With acetate & alcohol When the scenes are all assembled It's a tribute just as false Is your life electric Is it alchemy or art Is it a universe of silent waves, black holes, & ancient sparks It all matters till it doesn't Nothing matters till it does The past is prelude & contrition Throw it in the well for us Fantasies die in the hollow Desires remanded to their cells Celebration for the devils Proud of their little hells
5.
Doom Forever 03:06
Blow a kiss 11:59 Can I sleep through the new year Just have to keep the coals alive Microdosing on disco lights What separates you from your fear You don't need courage to survive Am I chasing ghosts Tracing ashes in a room The way they float Just breathe them in like doom Till they're gone forever Till they're gone forever Trees & memories creak & moan Still find a way to miss you Searching for the shortest line If I ever make it home There's nothing I can give you From a life that isn't even mine Am I chasing ghosts Tracing ashes in a room The way they float Just breathe them in like doom Am I doomed forever to be doomed forever
6.
Would you let me stay Until the fireworks are over Is it wiser to meet fate Or is it something to be thwarted Can't retrace the footsteps that we walked The consequence is never what we thought Would you let me stay Until the fireworks are over I'm the blushing bride Left waiting at the altar A priest that's lost his sight Makes him easier to lie to He says the devil will never judge you But the road to hell is gilded by the ones who say they love you I'm the blushing bride Left waiting at the altar It's not about the lie We forget what's real & true It's not about the past The future always makes the rules Every April's heart becomes a fool And I don't know how to make it bulletproof Emergency emerges from the truth And I don't know how to say the words to you
7.
Broken mirrors, fractured smoke Ballet dancers & bachelorettes You get so lonely, everything's a joke Night spirals like pirouettes Eyes cloudy & faithless When you're lost or you just don't know This world is more than secrets But truth fades like afterglow This is where I lose my nerve I don't know how to tell the truth I don't think that this is gonna work When every road leads back to you Twice my hope is still nothing A whisper from inside the tomb Try to make it count for something I love the way red looks on you This is where I lose my nerve I don't know how to tell the truth I don't think that this is gonna work When every road leads back to you I don't know how to find my nerve I always try to fight the truth I don't know how to make this work When every road leads back to you Sometimes all that we're good for Is a momentary glimpse Holding on to you is like when I wake up & I try to make a fist This is where I lose my nerve I don't know how to tell the truth I don't think that this is gonna work When every road leads back to you I don't know how to find my nerve I always try to fight the truth I don't know how to make this work When every road leads back to you
8.
On The Vine 03:44
Don't tell me your dreams It won't change anything Always running in place Always frozen in silence A hand through your hair Use your phone as a mirror Does the person staring back make the future look any clearer We never know how far or close we are To possibility Or the shadows of our hearts You made me less of a fake You made me more of a fool But if your heart is free I can never lose I never asked you to follow Because I knew you'd say yes Although I wish we were lovers It's for the best I'm just being honest You were never mine Anything that I try to grow withers on the vine
9.
A ghost can't rest until it's understood It drags its chains, haunts your neighborhood Tugging at your sheets, does it meet your eye The catch in your voice needs nothing to be justified I know that this has to stop but I don't want to disappear Every secret has a cost but I can make it easier Put our love in lights, in silent faith When we dream of death it only means we're afraid of change Beauty smiles but beauty doesn't keep the walls from closing in Some are beautiful but they don't know what real beauty is I know that this has to stop but I don't want to disappear Every secret has a cost but I can make it easier We're only getting older & it's only more dangerous If there's something to be saved baby I can keep it safe for us We're only getting older & it's only more dangerous If there's something to be saved honey I can keep it safe for us We're only getting older & it's only more dangerous
10.
I tried to get away but fear pulls me like a chain That leaves me at the mercy of a ghost train If decay is still a friend then I should be checking in Before he takes me in his loving arms again I left the party feeling sorry for myself Lonely lights of Cheesesteak Vegas shine at 1AM A line of trash & pretty people on the pavement Staring at an alien or some unfrozen caveman Is it better to find love & refuse it Than to hold it your hand & simply lose it Better to shrink away than make it true Memory is a stack of clouds that we keep falling through If you fall at least you tried At least you know that you'll survive I wish that you were here & I want you to be mine But I don't know how to keep anything alive Dulcimers & decibels, the streets are all a blur You said everyone should get a chance to see their funeral You're funny when you're funny I laugh for no reason You can live forever as long as you never weaken
11.
Every color of light Moves towards the invisible Seasons shorter than night Darkness outlasts a miracle Do you see what I see Is there snow where you are So quick to meet destiny You put too much trust in the stars Light through the storefront Fading like letters Cards that you saved An acquaintance remembered The ghost of the past prays for your surrender This year Bad habits like steel wool Bend their will to the cold The trash of the new year Sews itself to the old I've been a coward But I can't fight the truth I don't have an answer Why I hold back when it comes to you Light through the storefront Fading like letters Cards that you saved An acquaintance remembered The ghost of the future cries for your surrender This year
12.
13.
Scoop me up before I blow away like sand Try to find a grain of joy before it slips through your hands We won't read every book or open their covers Won't see every film or love every lover But at least for today we'll be together The copper splash before a wish dies in the well Sometimes hope's just an echo we have to hear for ourselves We won't read every book or open their covers Won't see every film or love every lover But at least for today we'll be together

about

Consisting of twelve golden hits from my 2021 EP series, LIVE TO SEE was a lot of fun to put together & provides a nice jumping-on point for new listeners or those who didn't get a chance to listen to every single thing I put out last year. I'm really proud of these songs & for the most part I think I wrote them without too much sentimentality or self-pity. As someone who is always living inside a question, LIVE TO SEE is as close as I get to answering a mystery with a mystery xx

*LIVE TO SEE IS INCLUDED WITH A SUBSCRIPTION* 2021 subscribers will be receiving download codes / CDs in the mail the week of 1/16. If you are a 2022 subscriber & would like a CD, send a message & we can make that happen. More info about subscriptions at the top of the page!

Written in Notebook #4 & Google Keep
Recorded to iPhone & edited in Audacity
Photo: Highway 5, Castella CA 7/1/2021

credits

released January 14, 2022

Banjo on "Color of Light (Reprise)": Mark McMurray
Choir on "Color of Light (Reprise)": Mark & Julie McMurray, Phil Miarmi, Aaron, Beth, & Mark Delarosa, Brandi Kerekes

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about

That Dream Was Our Life Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Introspective & prolific, James Cuartero AKA That Dream Was Our Life has been making music as a solo artist since 2014. Described as "a thinking man’s songwriter who stays away from the trap of being defined by a single genre", Cuartero has released fifty EPs, six compilations, & numerous singles over the past ten years. No t-shirts though. ... more

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